idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
do herpes really smell.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Do you remember whose house we're in?
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
