I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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