No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
