she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
