Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
