so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
