Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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