Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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