I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
