Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
