Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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