He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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