i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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