if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
