Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
