Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
