Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Randomize
