You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
