dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
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