i'm signing you up for texting rehab
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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