Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
