so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
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