idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Can I color on your dick again?
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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