it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
