Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
