Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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