Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Randomize
