Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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