I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize
