We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Less talking, more tequila
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
