Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
