Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
