It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
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