He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Randomize
