It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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