I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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