i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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