Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize