If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
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