Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
