The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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