Don't you send me to vm
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Randomize
