no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
