would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
