Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Randomize
