Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
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