I hate your face
Yo dont text me then not text me
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize
