his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
