He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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