I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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