dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Randomize
