ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Randomize
