At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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