the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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