gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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